Through some pretty sweet fortune, I found myself in the Twin Cities for the NHL Draft, participating in some scouting discussions for a team and getting to sit in a nifty draft suite. Since 1) I had no responsibilities during the draft, 2) I know very very little about the NHL, and 3) There's only so long you can be entertained just by eating chicken, I decided to 4) take notes for a ex post facto "live" blog. And 5) here it is. Or, at least, here’s part 1 of like damn a lot.
5:00 CST- The Xcel Center in St. Paul, Minnesota is a beautiful building with some nifty green NHL Draft memorabilia floating around. I feel very official in a suit and tie walking into the suite level. What the hell am I doing here?
5:03- These suites are really nice.
5:05- Hockey is such a family game. First of all, every other guy in this draft is being described as "oh, he's so-and-so's son, he's so-and-so's brother, his six uncles are all named Craig and they played in Winnipeg for years." More on Winnipeg later. Not only is it a family game, that extends to the draft tables themselves, where it's tradition for each team to have a "runner" between the ages of 5 and 15 who gets food for the table or whatever, runs around the floor on errands, and sometimes comes up during picks, always in an oversized team jersey. Fantastic tradition.
5:10- Uprising! Perhaps it's not a good sign that my notes focus heavily on the pre-draft music selection. I swear, they had some good songs.
5:25- Kids! Chicken! Suit! Yes, those are the entirety of my notes for the past fifteen minutes. Really not a lot goes on at the NHL Draft before the picks start. I guess I should have known that.
5:37- Roll call in 5 minutes. Yes, it certainly would be MUMFORD!!! Sorry. Yes, it sure would be a big deal if a team forgot to show up for the draft. Ottawa...Ottawa...are there any Senators in the house? No, of course not! They're not in the House, they're in the Senate!
5:38- Holy cow these kids are young. It's moments like these when it doesn't feel like hockey is a real sport.
5:45- The biggest cheers are for the hometown Minnesota Wild and the as yet unnamed Winnipeg franchise, which is moving from Atlanta. Everyone seems happy for Winnipeg. I ask someone in the suite what's going to happen with the divisions? Obviously, Winnipeg can't be in the Southeast Division forever. Apparently they're re-aligning after the upcoming season. He adds "I'm not looking forward to going to Winnipeg in February!"
This begs the question, is it ever fun going to Winnipeg? No, he agrees, it is not.
5:55- Time to start! Some epically uplifting song about hockey is playing. "The game's in our blood and our blood's in the game!" The song is called "The State of Hockey," it's full of hockey puns, and I cannot get over how much I am enjoying this song. Is Minnesota the State of Hockey? Or does this simply refer to all hockey players?
6:01- Or...maybe we're not starting yet. Bit of a letdown after the State of Hockey. Commercials I guess.
6:14- Still haven't started yet. Respectful silence for EJ McGuire, recently deceased Director of Central Scouting. He’s clearly beloved throughout the NHL. Rest in peace.
5:00 CST- The Xcel Center in St. Paul, Minnesota is a beautiful building with some nifty green NHL Draft memorabilia floating around. I feel very official in a suit and tie walking into the suite level. What the hell am I doing here?
5:03- These suites are really nice.
5:05- Hockey is such a family game. First of all, every other guy in this draft is being described as "oh, he's so-and-so's son, he's so-and-so's brother, his six uncles are all named Craig and they played in Winnipeg for years." More on Winnipeg later. Not only is it a family game, that extends to the draft tables themselves, where it's tradition for each team to have a "runner" between the ages of 5 and 15 who gets food for the table or whatever, runs around the floor on errands, and sometimes comes up during picks, always in an oversized team jersey. Fantastic tradition.
5:10- Uprising! Perhaps it's not a good sign that my notes focus heavily on the pre-draft music selection. I swear, they had some good songs.
5:25- Kids! Chicken! Suit! Yes, those are the entirety of my notes for the past fifteen minutes. Really not a lot goes on at the NHL Draft before the picks start. I guess I should have known that.
5:37- Roll call in 5 minutes. Yes, it certainly would be MUMFORD!!! Sorry. Yes, it sure would be a big deal if a team forgot to show up for the draft. Ottawa...Ottawa...are there any Senators in the house? No, of course not! They're not in the House, they're in the Senate!
5:38- Holy cow these kids are young. It's moments like these when it doesn't feel like hockey is a real sport.
5:45- The biggest cheers are for the hometown Minnesota Wild and the as yet unnamed Winnipeg franchise, which is moving from Atlanta. Everyone seems happy for Winnipeg. I ask someone in the suite what's going to happen with the divisions? Obviously, Winnipeg can't be in the Southeast Division forever. Apparently they're re-aligning after the upcoming season. He adds "I'm not looking forward to going to Winnipeg in February!"
This begs the question, is it ever fun going to Winnipeg? No, he agrees, it is not.
5:55- Time to start! Some epically uplifting song about hockey is playing. "The game's in our blood and our blood's in the game!" The song is called "The State of Hockey," it's full of hockey puns, and I cannot get over how much I am enjoying this song. Is Minnesota the State of Hockey? Or does this simply refer to all hockey players?
6:01- Or...maybe we're not starting yet. Bit of a letdown after the State of Hockey. Commercials I guess.
6:14- Still haven't started yet. Respectful silence for EJ McGuire, recently deceased Director of Central Scouting. He’s clearly beloved throughout the NHL. Rest in peace.
6:20- EJ's wife and children go up to the podium to announce that Edmonton has the first pick. Touching moment. I'm looking all over for a timer, and can't find one yet.
6:21- And we're off! Edmonton takes Ryan Nugent-Hopkins of the Red Deer Rebels in the Western Hockey League. This is no surprise to anybody. He's very young-looking, very thin-looking, and he's not wearing a suit! Oh, that's why. He's putting an Oilers jersey on, as everyone waits for him to awkwardly pull it over his head. Good times.
6:23- Riveting footage of Nugent-Hopkins being measured all over his body. Really. And doing situps. By the way, don't expect much hockey analysis from me here. I do know that Nugent-Hopkins had over 70 assists to lead the WHL, and he's thinner than I am. So...he needs to get bigger?
6:24- Lots of boos for the Colorado Avalanche. If I knew something about hockey, I'd guess they take Jonathan Huberdeau.
6:29- It's Landeskog, who is a 6'0" 207 pound lefthander for the Kitchener Rangers, which sounds more like an oven than a hockey team. Lots of silly names in Canadian Junior Hockey. Take the following four: Red Deer Rebels, Kootenay Ice, Medicine Hat Tigers, Calgary Hitmen. And that's just in one division of one league! Cape Breton Screaming Eagles. Owen Sound Attack. Halifax Mooseheads. Funny, I thought they'd be in Quad City, Iowa. A joke that only some will get and none will find funny. Alas.
6:39- The champions of the Canadian Hockey League, the Saint John Sea Dogs, have their first of many players taken, Huberdeau to the Florida Panthers. The CHL is the umbrella organization (pronounced organ-EYE-zation, of course) of major junior hockey in Canada, consisting of three leagues: The Western Hockey League (WHL), the Ontario Hockey League (OHL), and the Quebec Major Major Major Major Junior Senior Sophomore Hockey League For Hockey Players Who Play Hockey in a Hockey League, or the "Q" for short.
6:41- Who is the tiny dude?
6:42- Still can't find a timer anywhere. They're saying Landeskog will be a captain someday.
6:47- Devils at #4 take Swedish defenseman Adam Larsson. He is tall and very Swedish. Apparently his stock fell a little bit during the season, but it can't have fallen that far.
6:49- "Huberdeau is taking his talents to South Beach." Even the NHL gets their share of hits on LeBron.
6:53- More kids in jerseys! On stage for the Islanders.
6:54- My notes, unedited: "Strome of the Ice Dogs! Make a joke." Am I supposed to make a joke about the name Ice Dogs? Probably. It's also the title of a Man Man song, and a good name in general. The IceDogs (oh, it's one word!) play in Niagara in the Ontario Hockey League. Now might also be a good time to point out that the OHL has 20 teams, the WHL has 22 teams, and the Q has 17 teams. That adds up to 59, but the wikipedia entry on the CHL says it has 60 teams. Mysterious...
6:58- Zibanejad to the Senators! Three Swedes in the first six picks! I met Zibanejad briefly yesterday, and he seemed like a very nice fellow. Tall, dark, and Swedish. I wish my sister was here.
7:01- The Winnipeg team is announced to cheers all over the arena! My notes are largely incomprehensible, but contain things like "Only people to be excited about Winnipeg" and "Emotional howecag," which might mean homecoming. To get us excited about Winnipeg's number seven pick, there's a list of notable #7 picks: I have heard of one out of four.
7:06- It really is fun to say Winnipeg isn't it?
7:08- Unedited notes: No kids! What is this? ORGANEYEZATION. Everyone happy about Winnipeg.
6:21- And we're off! Edmonton takes Ryan Nugent-Hopkins of the Red Deer Rebels in the Western Hockey League. This is no surprise to anybody. He's very young-looking, very thin-looking, and he's not wearing a suit! Oh, that's why. He's putting an Oilers jersey on, as everyone waits for him to awkwardly pull it over his head. Good times.
6:23- Riveting footage of Nugent-Hopkins being measured all over his body. Really. And doing situps. By the way, don't expect much hockey analysis from me here. I do know that Nugent-Hopkins had over 70 assists to lead the WHL, and he's thinner than I am. So...he needs to get bigger?
6:24- Lots of boos for the Colorado Avalanche. If I knew something about hockey, I'd guess they take Jonathan Huberdeau.
6:29- It's Landeskog, who is a 6'0" 207 pound lefthander for the Kitchener Rangers, which sounds more like an oven than a hockey team. Lots of silly names in Canadian Junior Hockey. Take the following four: Red Deer Rebels, Kootenay Ice, Medicine Hat Tigers, Calgary Hitmen. And that's just in one division of one league! Cape Breton Screaming Eagles. Owen Sound Attack. Halifax Mooseheads. Funny, I thought they'd be in Quad City, Iowa. A joke that only some will get and none will find funny. Alas.
6:39- The champions of the Canadian Hockey League, the Saint John Sea Dogs, have their first of many players taken, Huberdeau to the Florida Panthers. The CHL is the umbrella organization (pronounced organ-EYE-zation, of course) of major junior hockey in Canada, consisting of three leagues: The Western Hockey League (WHL), the Ontario Hockey League (OHL), and the Quebec Major Major Major Major Junior Senior Sophomore Hockey League For Hockey Players Who Play Hockey in a Hockey League, or the "Q" for short.
6:41- Who is the tiny dude?
6:42- Still can't find a timer anywhere. They're saying Landeskog will be a captain someday.
6:47- Devils at #4 take Swedish defenseman Adam Larsson. He is tall and very Swedish. Apparently his stock fell a little bit during the season, but it can't have fallen that far.
6:49- "Huberdeau is taking his talents to South Beach." Even the NHL gets their share of hits on LeBron.
6:53- More kids in jerseys! On stage for the Islanders.
6:54- My notes, unedited: "Strome of the Ice Dogs! Make a joke." Am I supposed to make a joke about the name Ice Dogs? Probably. It's also the title of a Man Man song, and a good name in general. The IceDogs (oh, it's one word!) play in Niagara in the Ontario Hockey League. Now might also be a good time to point out that the OHL has 20 teams, the WHL has 22 teams, and the Q has 17 teams. That adds up to 59, but the wikipedia entry on the CHL says it has 60 teams. Mysterious...
6:58- Zibanejad to the Senators! Three Swedes in the first six picks! I met Zibanejad briefly yesterday, and he seemed like a very nice fellow. Tall, dark, and Swedish. I wish my sister was here.
7:01- The Winnipeg team is announced to cheers all over the arena! My notes are largely incomprehensible, but contain things like "Only people to be excited about Winnipeg" and "Emotional howecag," which might mean homecoming. To get us excited about Winnipeg's number seven pick, there's a list of notable #7 picks: I have heard of one out of four.
7:06- It really is fun to say Winnipeg isn't it?
7:08- Unedited notes: No kids! What is this? ORGANEYEZATION. Everyone happy about Winnipeg.
Manitoba
"On behalf of the Winnipeg Jets." Loud cheers as the name is officially revealed. "Live From Winnipeg." Oh yeah. He's being booed, he said Minneapolis. Scheifele. Didn't know there were hot girls in Winnipeg.
To recap: I know nothing about Winnipeg's draft pick, people in St. Paul don't like it when you say they're in Minneapolis, and there are hot girls in Winnipeg, bringing the number of reasons to go there up to 0.5.
7:12- No surprise on the next round of boos...everyone hates the Flyers. My notes read: "Hardy aren't talkative. I'm quiet, notarize." That can't be right. Somebody is talking about how he's a pretty quiet guy, but I don't know who it is. I'm guessing he didn't say much anyway.
7:17- I have no internet. The computer six inches from mine does. Very odd.
7:25- Boston's representatives give thanks to the Twin Cities, after some fantastic pumpup Irish music! Big cheer from the crowd. Pandering to the crowd will become a theme. Shipping up to Boston! Everyone was surprised that Dougie Hamilton was still on the board: he's believed to be one of the top two or three defensemen in the draft. Good year for the Bruins. You'll note that I didn't talk about the Flyers' pick. That's because 1) I don't know much about Sean Couturier and 2) Screw the Flyers.
7:27- The fans as expected go Wild for the Wild, as the hometown team will pick tenth. Apparently Minnesota loves the song "Uprising," they're showing Wild highlights with the lyrics on the screen. I love the song too.
7:37- Swede Jonas Brodin is the "Newest Addition to the State of Hockey." Starting to think that Minnesota, in fact, is the State of Hockey. More reason that Minnesota really ought to be part of Canada.
7:41- Colorado takes Duncan Siemens, which surprises me. Everyone thought he'd be drafted below Ryan Murphy. Reminds me of Tristan Thompson over Jonas Valanciunas the other night.
7:45- There's Murphy. 12th to the Hurricanes feels like great value for him, a lot of people were projecting him 9th to the Bruins and thinking he might not even fall that far. The Flyers' blockbuster center trades landing the 8th pick from Columbus probably contributed, as Columbus was probably going to take a defenseman but Philly took Couturier. Whoa! Hockey analysis!
7:48- Tons of boos for the Flames! Northwest Division rivalry, I guess. Calgary is quick to the podium, which is nice to see in this dragging first round. Once there, GM Jay Feaster acknowledges the hospitality of the Twin Cities, congratulates both Boston and "our brothers" in Winnipeg, thanks the NHL for their tributes and support on the death of original Flames owner Harley Hotchkiss...seriously, the NHL is one big happy family. It's amazing.
7:53- Of course, Minnesota's fans boo the Dallas Stars lustily. They don't forget that they were once the Minnesota North Stars. I've completely given up on trying to describe the picks, although it made me very very happy that the Flames took a guy named Sven with an umlaut in his last name. He's Swiss and plays for the Portland, Oregon team in the Western Hockey League, a subset of the Canadian Hockey League. That makes sense.
7:59- Oleksiak! The huge guy! He's very huge.
8:08- Crowd BOOOOOs (a good thing) for deceased New York Ranger Derek Boogaard, whose brother announces their pick after receiving a standing ovation. Lots of emotional moments here at the draft.
8:11- It is impossible not to look awkward putting on a hockey jersey in front of a large, waiting crowd.
8:13- My notes are already almost completely illegible. The Finnish player Joel Armia was drafted, but for some reason I'm talking about a short woman.
8:23- The Montreal Canadiens come up to the podium and start speaking French to loud boos from the crowd. Gotta love those Quebecois. They take Nathan Beaulieu, whose name is extremely French. I have more written about Beaulieu, but I can't read it. I do know that most people thought he would be drafted sooner.
8:25- I'm starting to feel a little tired. This draft is slow, long, there's no clock that you can look at, and I'm filling up on free Coke. Definitely ate too much chicken before the first pick too.
G: this is utterly hilarious! keep the 'live' blogs coming...
ReplyDeleteAh the elusive Gavin! I know no one else who could turn the NHL draft into something entertaining/bizarre/comical all at the same time. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteI also appreciate that your first post is on the NHL, as that is one of few sports on which you aren't the (self proclaimed) 'expert'.
When the blog was just me and Jose, I was calling myself the expert on those other three leagues...but in a larger team it felt altogether too hubristic. And so it was replaced.
ReplyDelete